It’s my experience that living with chronic health problems creates a generalized sense of dis-empowerment. When you can’t control your health, it’s a slippery slope to losing your sense of control over what you can and can’t do, quicksand where you feel completely powerless.
Do you find yourself stuck doing the same thing over and over? Do you get stuck on replaying that negative conversation or running through what’s wrong in your life, but nothing changes?
I see this struggle often with my clients. This can happen to anyone – - healthy or not. But living with bad health is tough enough. Replaying the tape that leads to nowhere drains precious resources and energy.
Do you get stuck looking at what’s wrong with this person or this situation rather than what you want? You might want to turn the process around. Start at the end.
1. What is the outcome I want here? What do I want to be different? (e.g., I want my boss to stop telling me how to do things I already know how to do OR I want a different job that pays a lot more money.
2. What do I believe is actually possible to achieve? (e.g. I can get my boss to limit the instructions OR I need to retrain for different work.)
3. What will it take to achieve this – what do I need to do? (e.g. I need to speak with my boss about this and tell her that I think I’m able to do what she wants without so much guidance and then set up some systems with her …. OR I have to research salaries in my field and the certification requirements and create a timeline . . . . .
The specifics vary but the steps are what matters. When you take your attention from how external forces should change and put your attention to what you want to be different, that shift in focus creates greater clarity. When you stop the tape you’re playing inside your head and ask yourself the right questions, you are building your sense of personal power.
Try it out. Let me know what you think.