If you think that it’s only the adult work world in which a chronically ill person struggles to around being “successful”, read this article (When Schools Punish Sick Children Who Miss School). Kids face the same crap (sorry but it made my blood boil).
Here’s an example: A parent wrote that her child completed all her assisnments (getting A & B’s) but because she didn’t attend school the required number of days (due to her well documented chronic illness), the school wouldn’t allow her to advance in grade.
The good news is that there are laws designed to protect her. The bad news is that her parents would have to fight this ruling — which takes time, energy and resources.
I can only hope that when this kid grows up, she’ll be able to speak up for herself at work. She’ll know what she needs to do her job well and she’ll know how to talk with people so she gets it.
The goal is to persuade people of your position so they’ll give you what you’re asking for without alienating them so you don’t have to use force (such as through the law) which can damage relationships.
Marci Alboher writes about persuasion in her blog, Shifting Careers (Come On, Let’s Talk About Persuasion) . She cites an article in New Scientist offering, “eight ways to get exactly what you want” . It offers some interesting ideas based on new scientific research. (But I’d suggest that before you use mimicry, test it out. If it backfires, the results won’t be pretty!)
Alboher also referred to a Wall Street Journal article (Art of persuasion is Key) that said that more than ever, people need this in the more team-oriented work environment. Everyone needs to be skilled in persuasion, not just people on work teams. In fact, I think people who live with chronic illness (and work with others) should get trained in persuasion upon getting a diagnosis.
Do you find yourself struggling to convince people of your position, trying to get them to do what you want or need, particularly when it isn’t obviously aligned with their own wants and needs?
Maybe you want: Your boss to recognize that you are meeting performance expectations (even if it doesn’t always look that way). Or your supervisor to understand that cross training will ensure that deadlines get met when you’re not well. Or your colleague to accept that you have to come to work later every day but you’re always available when necessary. All difficult positions that require persuasive technique.
Finally, an all time favorite is a book I first read when I was trained in mediation, Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher. It’s a must read. You will also find my Career Thrive Guidebook, Are You Talking? filled with helpful strategies for persuasion.
Rosalind aka cicoach.com
When I was in high school, I got mono one semester and missed a couple of weeks of school. I had straight As, but the school still threatened to hold me back. I’d love to see what that high school would say now that I have MS!
What it came down to, as is often the case, is that schools get certain amounts of funding based on the number of students attending. They told us that when students don’t show, the school (or school system?) loses money. I’m not a specialist in education policy or economics, but this is what was explained to me.
Yes - you’re remembering it correctly EJ - that is how schools get the federal (or is it state?) funding. But that’s a problem, isn’t it, for chronically ill kids (or even kids who are acutely ill). AND my point is that that’s another example of how inflexible sytems make it VERY difficult for perfectly capable people — who happen to have chronic illnesses that make it difficult for them to perform the way others do -but manage to do the work and do it well and on time - it makes it very difficult for them to BE SUCCESSFUL. Roslind