Comments on: Getting old isn’t pretty but that’s not really the problem. http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:48:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Rosalind http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1563 Rosalind Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:17:56 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1563 Hi Carol - Glad this resonated with you -- and thanks for the kind words about my Dad. He's actually better and in rehab ... my sister says he's got 72 lives! People say the darndest things, don't they? How do you manage to do the best you can? What do you tell yourself to keep that attitude going? Rosalind Hi Carol - Glad this resonated with you — and thanks for the kind words about my Dad. He’s actually better and in rehab … my sister says he’s got 72 lives!
People say the darndest things, don’t they? How do you manage to do the best you can? What do you tell yourself to keep that attitude going? Rosalind

]]> By: Carol Jaquith http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1558 Carol Jaquith Tue, 29 Jan 2008 13:00:55 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1558 Hi This is a great article. Sorry about your Dad. I feel I do pretty darn good coping with my CFIDS I tryto make the quality of my life the best I can, be as productive as I can, enjoy what I can, see the good in my life, - yet when someone like my sister-in-law says - it is horrible getting old (she is dealing with some arthritis and other issues that can be treated) I tend to get sucked back into feelling sorry for myself. I want to say to her try getting old at 40 (or 20 in the case of m y neice)? I have to shake it off and continue trying to do the best I can. Truth be known the best I can is pretty darn good even if the world can't see it! Carol Hi
This is a great article. Sorry about your Dad.
I feel I do pretty darn good coping with my CFIDS I tryto make the quality of my life the best I can, be as productive as I can, enjoy what I can, see the good in my life, - yet when someone like my sister-in-law says - it is horrible getting old (she is dealing with some arthritis and other issues that can be treated) I tend to get sucked back into feelling sorry for myself. I want to say to her try getting old at 40 (or 20 in the case of m y neice)? I have to shake it off and continue trying to do the best I can. Truth be known the best I can is pretty darn good even if the world can’t see it!
Carol

]]> By: Rosalind Joffe http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1549 Rosalind Joffe Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:02:40 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1549 Your story only reinforces my own belief that we die the way we lived. In your father's case, it was gracefully and with acceptance. The best news is that he'll be remembered that way. How lucky he was that he could be that person. Thanks for the kind words, Annabel. Rosalind Your story only reinforces my own belief that we die the way we lived. In your father’s case, it was gracefully and with acceptance. The best news is that he’ll be remembered that way. How lucky he was that he could be that person. Thanks for the kind words, Annabel.
Rosalind

]]> By: Annabel http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1548 Annabel Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:58:06 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1548 The way my father handled his dying and old age was an inspiration to me. Before he got sick he went to the Jewish Center Health club regularly to work out - up to just before his congestive heart failure at 91. He was their oldest member. When he found out he was dying, he told me that he hadn't expected to live this long, and that he had done everything he wanted to do during his life. When he was so sick that he had to have care givers with him everyday, he still demanded when they came in "What are we going to do today?". He was happy even if they just took him for a walk in his wheel chair or to a doctor's appointment or to a store for a short errand. He died when he was 92. He wanted of course to live longer, but he accepted death gracefully. I believe it's easier to accept old age and death if you've done everything you can to live life to its fullest, for however long you have or whatever your capabilities. Rosalind - so sorry about your father. The way my father handled his dying and old age was an inspiration to me. Before he got sick he went to the Jewish Center Health club regularly to work out - up to just before his congestive heart failure at 91. He was their oldest member.

When he found out he was dying, he told me that he hadn’t expected to live this long, and that he had done everything he wanted to do during his life. When he was so sick that he had to have care givers with him everyday, he still demanded when they came in “What are we going to do today?”. He was happy even if they just took him for a walk in his wheel chair or to a doctor’s appointment or to a store for a short errand.

He died when he was 92. He wanted of course to live longer, but he accepted death gracefully.

I believe it’s easier to accept old age and death if you’ve done everything you can to live life to its fullest, for however long you have or whatever your capabilities.

Rosalind - so sorry about your father.

]]> By: Rosalind http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1545 Rosalind Mon, 21 Jan 2008 18:50:43 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1545 Dear Karen- boy, does your story resonate. It's too bad that we have to look at bad role modes to know what we don't want to be. I couldn't agree more, though. Nothing good comes from withdrawing from others -- it just makes you more miserable and frustrate others. People actually like to help others and you'll know when it becomes a burden. In my experience, it really is harder to give than to receive. Rosalind Dear Karen- boy, does your story resonate. It’s too bad that we have to look at bad role modes to know what we don’t want to be. I couldn’t agree more, though. Nothing good comes from withdrawing from others — it just makes you more miserable and frustrate others. People actually like to help others and you’ll know when it becomes a burden. In my experience, it really is harder to give than to receive. Rosalind

]]> By: KAren http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1544 KAren Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:35:34 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1544 I constantly battle my illness and some of the things that might make it easier to cope. I am now watching my 87 year old mom fight every step of the way. I hope i am learning from her to give in a littl e more gracefully. SHe will accept no help, no prescriptions, and is depressed and somewhat unpleasant to be around. She feels giving up anything means giving up part of herself. So, she turns down invitiations, turns down offers of help, and sits at home alone out of fear a bathroom won't be close by. My family would rather have less of her struggle and more of her company. I think that is true of my friends, too. Let them do things for me. At least I can be there to share their time and company. Adaptation doesn't have to be an awful word. It is a good skill to develop. I constantly battle my illness and some of the things that might make it easier to cope. I am now watching my 87 year old mom fight every step of the way. I hope i am learning from her to give in a littl e more gracefully.

SHe will accept no help, no prescriptions, and is depressed and somewhat unpleasant to be around. She feels giving up anything means giving up part of herself. So, she turns down invitiations, turns down offers of help, and sits at home alone out of fear a bathroom won’t be close by.

My family would rather have less of her struggle and more of her company. I think that is true of my friends, too.

Let them do things for me. At least I can be there to share their time and company. Adaptation doesn’t have to be an awful word. It is a good skill to develop.

]]> By: Rosalind http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1543 Rosalind Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:26:14 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1543 Thanks, Mark. Thanks, Mark.

]]> By: Mark http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1542 Mark Mon, 21 Jan 2008 12:50:40 +0000 http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2008/01/20/getting-old-isnt-necessarily-pretty-but-thats-not-really-the-problem/#comment-1542 Wonderful article and message. So sorry to hear about your dad. Wonderful article and message.

So sorry to hear about your dad.

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